Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
