last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
