i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
