Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
