Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
