I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
