I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
