WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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