people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
what day is it and did you see me today?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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