Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
