No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
