i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It's never too late to be topless.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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