woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
