I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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