Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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