just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I have surprise drugs for everyone
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
