My pussy is not your playground.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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