Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
