why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
