Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
