Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
