oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
There r osticjed everywhere
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
