He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
