Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
