well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
