So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
