But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
