its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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