Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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