i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
