Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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