Banned from zoo.
Again?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
