I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
