Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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