Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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