Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
