I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
