thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
