Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
