fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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