i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he told me I talked like a deaf person
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
