you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
