Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
