The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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