Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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