if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
