GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
