Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
