I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
