whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
