We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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