I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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