btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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